I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
