I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
