Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize