Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
