the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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