yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
