Please, let me fuck your mom
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
