Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
