You really coming over, don't trick.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
