Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I still have a little drunk in my system
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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