Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
