Who did Billy Mays play for?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
