I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
