I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
