im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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