Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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