Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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