Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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