I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
