Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
