Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize