there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
