apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
