Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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