Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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