shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
