my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
