So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
now i know why i became what i already was.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
