Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Jerry, you need to find god
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
