I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
