At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
