Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
