Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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