i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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