i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
