Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
