i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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