I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
