we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
