Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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