What a fucking waste of an outfit
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Too much gin, very little bucket
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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