U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
