am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
