cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
