I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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