Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
