Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
