True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize