It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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