So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
