I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
