I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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