UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
