Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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