May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
