dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
