when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
