I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
