Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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