We won't sleep together?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
