dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
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