Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
