"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
