fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
